Posted in poetry

hashtag #GetTalkingPoetryChallange

I don’t do the new years’ resolution thing at Hogmany, it always seems to be a little untimely for big life-changing promises of good intentions, generally fueled by new year celebrations & alcohol-infused euphoria.
That said, and quirky as it may seem, I do have a tendency to make affirmations of intentions for my forthcoming year around the Chinese new year. Spring festival feels, at least to me, to be more in tune with the beginning of the natural year in the northern hemisphere where I live, or maybe it is just how my own biorhythms and energies begin to attune to the promise of spring and natures rebirth.

Anyway, this year my primary affirmation was to push my personal barriers & challenge my social anxiety to try and rebuild my confidence and try to get out and mix with other humans.
The first step was to go back to a writing group I’ve attended on and off over many years, I am comfortable there, familiar with the environment and the tutor is a trusted friend.
I was enjoying being back at writing group, and with a little encouragement decided to send some poems off to the Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival 2020 Ayrshire Poetry Competition, and was looking forward to attending other SMHAF events with my friend in May, as step two in challenging my social anxiety.
Then as the great bard said, ” The best-laid schemes o’Mice an’ Men gang aft agley,”

Along came COVID-19, lockdown, and social distancing. Life as we knew it canceled indefinitely.

Like most people, I’ve now worked my way through most spring deep cleaning tasks.
Unarguably my mental health has yoyo’d since lockdown began, I suggest most peoples have by now, It’s ok to not be okay.
It’s a myth that having social anxiety and being used to isolation makes it easier.

Yesterday I found myself on the precipice of mind- bland, which for me is never good, as mind-bland teeters on the edge of the abyss to madness.
I shared my mindset on twitter.

Later, I got a wee motivational reply from my writing group tutor, and later still, a lightbulb moment, as I stared out the window across the waters of the Clyde when my mindset shifted from bland to plan.

Sure it’s disappointing that the SMHAF 2020, and all festivals and social gatherings are canceled, but that doesn’t have to mean we can’t still enjoy poetry, raise awareness of mental health issues, ( now more than ever our mental health is important as we all face these difficult social changes affecting life as we know it). As Ant and Dec keep telling us on the telly, it is important & good for our mental health to talk.
So, my lightbulb moment idea that took me from mindset bland to plan?! ….

Inspired by the SMHAF poetry competition theme “perspectives ” is, a get talking mental health poetry challenge.

TO GET INVOLVED ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS;

1. write a poem. (The theme is ” Perspectives” & how that relates to Mental Health, interpret as you wish)
2. Upload a recording of yourself reading/reciting/preforming poem
3. tag 5 people you invite to challenge
4. post & share with hashtag #GetTalkingPoetryChallange

To start the challenge I’ve re-edited and tweaked my canceled entry to the SMHAF Ayrshire poetry comp, which was inspired by the Get Britain Talking campaign, and my 5 nominations go to,

  1. David Mclaughlan  @davidwordworker
  2. Ruth Anderson  @RRudiB1
  3. Kate Lindsay @KatieL251
  4. Tracy Harvey @Tracyanneharvey
  5.  Mkuu Amani @tocarbne

I hope they will rise to the challenge and get involved.

Poetry has long been a great influencer of social change, RAISING AWARENESS AND HELPING break down the barriers to understanding and tackling social issues and taboos that stigmatize and prevent good mental health.

SO, let’s GET POETIC! and #GetTalkingPoetryChallenge.

https://youtu.be/4rXsV0Ap0CQ

Posted in poetry

FACING DEMONS

https://youtu.be/Y_42aHAb85U

I faced the demon, a deja vu flash

two decades back…

Two weeks of anxiety, waves

new moon phase,

two days of random vomiting.

Today comes the hour,

see the minute dawning, seize it!

Anxiety grasping my heart

a warning…

The tide has turned,

my name is called…

a whisper escapes

“Oh fuck!”

the demon tightens its grip,

Sharp intake of breath

I move to center stage,

spotlight glares

inside my head the demon sneers,

anxiety rears

I look at the microphone,

I look at the page

I speak, “Open me carefully…”

The demon, retreats,

Anxiety subsides, goal achieved.

Tidelines 19.1.18, the tide has turned.

I smile, steering from the harbor

towards new horizons…

Posted in poetry

open me carefully

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG9A3OxlNL4

Sitting at his desk, he stared at her blindly
hardback, she stared, tempting…
Open me carefully, read me, if you dare
but beware, of the secrets lurking there
in the corners of the pages of my cranium maze,
in a hazy array, of faraway days, and torrid affairs
and I just don’t care’s, of the happened before’s…
Come scroll the pages, bound in my mind
let’s see what you find, as the story unfolds
the stark truth, so bold
The good and the bad, the exciting the sad,
the quite, completely, mad…
Read, the absurd little story of me.
My moments of insight, my fears and my fantasies,
as we swim through the ocean of insanity,
that roars thru my veins, as volcanic emotions rain
we shall rage thru the rapids that send a tingle down my spine
trust me when I tell you the sensation is divine…
as we drown in my sorrow then rise joyously
at the bridge to my heart, where love and sorrow embrace
in my light and my dark.
you can dance with the demons of my frontal lobe
then pirouette thru my mind’s eye, to my unconscious, untold’s.
Drift thru the oasis of my dreams, and nightmares
to dance with the angels, who hold my souls’ prayers.
Dive into my consciousness, and smell my unleashed joy
then taste the fruits of passions in words, my thoughts deploy.
I’ll take you past the closet with the closed, locked, door
where pains and hurts, and other, awesome, memories are stored.
we shall go on an adventure through my soul laid stark and bare
You may linger in my memory bank and see whats hidden there
You may find some old scandals behind some forsaken prayers.
You can pause a while and look out thru the windows of my soul
and you can see what I see as the story is told…
so open me, at your leisure,
and read me, with care
and perhaps I’ll become a friend, to have and hold and share
who you can turn to anytime to find comfort for all cares.

Posted in poetry

saying goodbye to demons

I returned today to where I once enjoyed dreams,

that were shattered and killed by the sound of my screams…

I went back today to say goodbye to the ghost

that has lived in the heart of this unwilling host

I went back today, and I sat at that place

and allowed many tears to run down my face,

I sat for a while, and just let go…

and in quiet meditation  bade the monster “please go…”

and after a while, I felt filled with relief

as in quiet meditation, I let go of the grief

I said goodbye to the monstro, who has haunted me so

cos I know to go forward, you have to let go…

Posted in poetry

THE FIELDS OF PEIOMONTI

In blanket field’s of green and gold,

natures wonderous story told,

in silent splendor…

The rippling waters of the rain

sparkle and shine as they sustain

the growing corn and rice grain

hidden in blankets of corn rows

narrow streams that gently flow

from the distant mountain tops

snowdrops melt,

the gods frozen  tear drops

that gently quench the thirsty soil

where hard working farmers toil

working the land, in all its glory

an integral part of natures story

And to this wonderous paradise

give thanks to nature as it thrives

giving so freely all its beauty

sharing with us its wonderous bounty

that we may live blessed by the gifts

Nympha, Lacturna, Matura, Nodotus & Volutina

so generously give…

 

 

 

Posted in poetry

Through the looking glass…

A trip from the present to meet with the past

traveling thru the sky in economy class,

Old friendship’s rekindled, new friends to greet,

nostalgically retracing walks though  different towns & streets..

decades have passed, since I walked in this land

yet there’s a sense of belonging, I can’t explain, or understand

as with each step in my present, my future unfolds

I don’t think I fell down any rabbit hole…

yet my present & future collide with my past

i feel a little like Alice, in reflections

thru the looking glass….

 

Posted in Gallary, poetry

WORLD OCEAN DAY 2016

It’s world ocean day

what can I say,

but where would we be if they all went away?

So much that sustains us is dependent on our waters,

yet we neglect and abuse them…

it’s like a pretext to our own slaughter.

Our pollutions and policies cause our oceans much harm,

it’s like we’re oblivious to those sounding the alarms.

So today make a promise, I urge everyone… please,

to think of our oceans, our waters, our seas..

think of their charm and all that they give

for without their contribution our species and planet can’t live..

& within that promise to yourself or your god

give thanks for our oceans, our waters and seas

& promise to do your part to take care of them please.

 

htps://wwwyoutube.com/watch?v=IZuye7DsF1M

starman… 1947-2016

The starman, now…

back on his way

having fell from Mars

back in the day…

a lad insane

at times they said

& yes, sometimes

he went off his head

from Time to time

& station to station…

 

The rebel rebel with painted face

a crusading hero full of grace…

the golden years he did embraced

though fame,

had brought it highs &

low,

oftime’s his woes, and raw emotions showed

in lyrical soulful sound & vision

shared with all on radio waves & television

the lodger

loving the alien…

the heathen

soul he held within…

a hero,  an idol ,

he couldn’t stay

a star man who stopped along the way

to share his genius & walk among us

back off on his voyage …

beyond the infinite

humungus

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in poetry

Abigail …

Abigail Abigail, how ye blaw,

turning the rain tae sleet, hail and snaw

I can hear ye roaring doon in the brae

blawin the trees in a ferocious way

makin’ them creak and wildly sway

oh how I wish ye wid haste awaw

angry Abigail….

Abigail Abigail how you rage

turning the ocean into your stage

howling & wailing your velocity soars

a rhapsody of waves dance wildly to shore

crashing on to the rocks, as moon looks on,

as it always does through calm and storm

angry Abigail…

Posted in poetry

I don’t wear a poppy

I don’t wear a poppy 

I don’t wear a poppy 2 remember the dead
I keep them in memory inside my head.
I don’t wear a poppy 2 remember the dead
children…, injured, killed by drones
as they lay in their beds.
I don’t wear a poppy like those grown in the fields
patrolled by solider with guns… until the crop yields.

I don’t wear a poppy, as they remind me
of the life’s that are ruined, by opiate toxicity.

I’m not being disrespectful to the life’s that  are lost,
as they battled in wars at the very high cost…
I understand the mindset, as to what they believed,
that they were fighting for a good cause,
but they were deceived…

when I see a poppy…
it makes me feel sad…
for life’s that were lost
& futures never had…

I think of children and families,
left without homes
workplaces destroyed,
piles of rubble, and bones…
I think of the lies that our leaders have spread,
the war propaganda, they try and put in our heads
 I’m haunted by the tears and pain,
of those mourning the dead
while these warmonger leaders
stand at the Cenotaph with bowed heads
I don’t wear a poppy,
because what it represents to me,
is war and destruction, greed and toxic debris.